Mina Starsiak Hawk and Husband Steve Share How a Household Tragedy Led Them to Give Up Alcohol

Good Bones star Mina Starsiak Hawk and her husband, Steve Hawk, opened up about what led them to change into sober within the newest episode of her podcast, Mina AF.

Prompted by a query from a listener who needed to know extra in regards to the couple’s resolution to chop out alcohol, Steve shared how his household historical past impacted his relationship with consuming.

Mina started by noting that her husband has been “utterly sober” for greater than two years, whereas she’s had a couple of dozen drinks throughout that point.

Steve mentioned his mom was a “full-blown” alcoholic, whereas reluctantly describing his dad as a “functioning alcoholic.”

“With them, it simply bought so dangerous at one level there was homelessness, a number of interventions, out and in of hospitals for my mother,” Steve mentioned, noting that this went on all through his twenties.

“What I get emotional about is the time that I misplaced it with my dad and mom, as a result of I had drawn a line within the sand about my mother and I felt that I wanted to stay with that,” he mentioned. “And my line was sadly, the connection would type of come to an finish if issues didn’t change. So we missed out on years of one another and that’s simply what makes me unhappy.”

Mina additionally addressed how alcohol performed a task in her adolescence, although she did not go into element on particular members of the family’ use.

“For me, it’s simply at all times existed,” she mentioned. “So it’s not this ‘What the heck occurred to my life?’ It’s simply at all times been current and problematic, however not in the best way the place jobs are being misplaced, houses are being misplaced. It’s at all times been very practical.”

“I believe in my household it was once more that time period ‘functioning alcoholic,’” Mina added. “There was tons of issues. There was emotional stuff, bodily stuff, psychological stuff that was all ever-present, and I didn’t actually suppose something of it as a result of it was simply regular.”

Steve was in his early twenties when he says he bought his dad and mom right into a homeless shelter for households, the place they stayed for over a yr.

“That all-time low was fairly tough,” he mentioned.

His mother determined to get sober whereas within the shelter, and so they had been in a position to “reboot” their relationship, he says. However a number of years later, she relapsed. 

Whereas his dad and mom had been homeless, Steve took in his sister Stefanie, who was solely 14 on the time. When their dad and mom bought again on their toes, she moved again in with them.

Mina Starsiak Hawk and Steve Hawk get sober

Mina Starsiak Hawk/Instagram

In 2018, Steve’s mom died from abdomen most cancers. His father died unexpectedly six months later after falling down the steps. Stefanie started residing on her personal and dealing for Mina. 

“She began to have a sample of conduct the place each Monday and Tuesday she didn’t really feel good, she wasn’t coming in, she was isolating, she wouldn’t let anybody into her home, she wouldn’t come to something,” Steve recalled

“She’d been having this isolating conduct for fairly a while,” Mina added. “However it had gotten considerably worse.”

Whereas filming Good Bones in 2020, Mina acquired a name from her brother, Tad, telling her that Stefanie had died. The trigger was ethanol poisoning.

When Mina went to Stefanie’s dwelling, she mentioned, “There have been so many bottles.”

“Simply seeing how the final nevertheless lengthy of her life had been was so extremely unhappy,” she continued. “After which the guilt with not having the ability to do one thing about it, like, ‘Effectively we should always’ve gone to her home sooner. We should always have made her go to rehab. We should always’ve made her transfer in with us.’ However no person knew.”

Mina Starsiak Hawk, Good Bones ending

Mina Starsiak Hawk/ Instagram

Through the COVID-19 pandemic, when Mina was pregnant with daughter Charlie (additionally they share son, Jack, 5), she mentioned it was widespread for Steve to get pleasure from some margaritas with the household’s neighbors.

Mina started maintaining observe of what number of days in a row Steve would drink.

“We don’t have an issue,” she remembered pondering. “You don’t have an issue. However that is how issues develop, and it scares the s— out of me.” 

“I don’t need to not say something and remorse not saying something for 2 weeks, two years, twenty years, after which us be in a spot we are able to’t come again from because it’s up to now gone,” she added.

Steve recalled his personal turning level. “What actually did it for me was once I…” he begins, earlier than getting choked up. “That is going to be exhausting to say, however once I realized that I don’t need to give my youngsters a cause to not have a relationship with me,” he mentioned.

“As a result of I really feel like so many individuals my age and the era earlier than me have these hole years of their relationship with their dad and mom, or perhaps they don’t even have hole years, however they simply don’t have relationships or they do, nevertheless it revolves round alcohol or simply all these destructive issues surrounding the conduct that comes with alcohol.”

“In order that was it,” he added. “I’ve at all times used internally the time period ‘reward,’ however I don’t imply reward in a optimistic manner. I simply imply I’m not going to present them the reward of not having a cause to not have a relationship with me. I’m by no means going to present that to my youngsters.”

Mina added that they may do “different issues which might be f—ed up,” however alcohol would by no means be one thing that distanced them from their youngsters.

“I’m by no means going to permit my youngsters to have a destructive relationship with me on issues that I can management, and I can management my alcohol consumption,” Steve mentioned.

Mina Starsiak Hawk and Steve Hawk get sober

Mina Starsiak Hawk/Instagram

Mina, who not too long ago introduced Good Bones could be ending after its eighth season, which is presently airing on HGTV, mentioned the previous 5 years of her life “have been very tumultuous for lots of causes.”

“There have been so many days the place I’d come dwelling and it was like, ‘I might in all probability do a complete bottle of rosé alone. Cool,’” she mentioned. 

Mina went on to elucidate how she stopped utilizing alcohol as a coping mechanism.

“It was the primary three or so months the place I used to be having to be taught new conduct on how to deal with these emotions,” she mentioned. “I like to remain busy. I prefer to drink a glass of wine and be relaxed once more.”

“And whereas I nonetheless have these different issues the place I maintain myself busy, this was eradicating one among these coping mechanisms the place I needed to really feel extra of my emotions and sit in them for an extended time frame,” she added. “And that’s tremendous tense for some time.”

On one other current episode of her podcast, Mina mirrored on the tip of Good Bones.

“It’s the tip of an period,” she mentioned. “I imply, I needed to say goodbye to some individuals in the present day that I’ve spent my final virtually 10 years with.”

“One thing I’m tremendous, tremendous happy with, and actually grateful to the community for, is making a present for the final eight years that, for the massive majority of the time, has been tremendous consultant of who I’m, who the boys are, what we’re doing, and it was actually vital to me from the start to do this,” she added.

She famous, nevertheless, “The tip of something is simply exhausting.”

Mina AF is obtainable to stream now.

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